Famous golf quotes:
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~ Phyllis Diller ~
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.

~ Bobby Jones ~
Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course, ... The distance between your ears.

~ Paul Harvey ~
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
~ Arnold Palmer ~
I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's golf game: it's called an eraser.

~ Sam Snead ~
If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork the way they do a golf club, they'd starve to death.

~ Ted Ray ~
Golf is a fascinating game. It has taken me nearly forty years to discover that I can't play it.

~ Harry Toscano ~
I'm hitting the woods just great, but I'm having a terrible time getting out of them.

~ Lee Trevino ~
If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

~ Jack Nicklaus ~
Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.

~ Nick Faldo ~, on John Daly
John certainly gives it a good hit, doesn't he? My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him.

~ Jack Lemmon ~
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.

~ Michael Green ~
The number of shots taken by an opponent who is out of sight is equal to the square root of the sum of the number of curses heard plus the number of swishes.

~ Arthur Daley ~
Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.

~ Val Doonican ~
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her.

~ Sam Snead ~
Forget your opponents; always play against par.

~ Arnold Palmer ~
What other people may find in poetry or art museums, I find in the flight of a good drive.

~ Dean Martin ~
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

~ Mark Twain ~
Golf is a good walk spoiled.

~ Michael Green ~
Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom.

~ Huxtable Pippey ~
Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective.

~ Bob Hope ~
Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren't penalized for being on grass.

~ Lee Trevino ~
Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course.

~ Chris Codiroli ~
My handicap? Woods and irons.

~ Jim Murray ~
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that.

~ Brent Musburger ~
I'd play every day if I could. It's cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart.

~ Nubar Gulbenkian ~
It is more satisfying to be a bad player at golf. The worse you play, the better you remember the occasional good shot.

~ Chi Chi Rodriguez ~
The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

~ Lee Trevino ~
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

~ Sam Snead ~
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.

~ Jack Nicklaus ~, on why he tees his ball high
Through years of experience I have found that air offers less resistance than dirt.

~ Ben Hogan ~
Reverse every natural instinct and do the opposite of what you are inclined to do, and you will probably come very close to having a perfect golf swing.

~ CGJ ~ Born to golf. Forced to work.
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